Hello, and welcome to my website. My name is Sky, and I have been trying to reach out to the public about this horrifying and tragic problem for about eight years now.
The message that I am trying to send out to people is that there is "hope" and not all despair in this fight against Methamphetamines. People that are addicted to this drug can overcome and fight to regain a normal life.
I cannot tell you the thousands of emails that I have received from friends, families and co-workers about the people they care for regarding this madness and destructive lifestyle. Many people just can't understand what it is like being the addict themselves when faced with this situation and I am here to try and help the best I can to inform people and take my place in the fight against this drug.
Methamphetamines are a powerful and degrading alternative to a life that many people feel they can't control, are powerless to change, or in fact have certain things about their physical or mental conditions that bring them closer to this drug. All it takes is "one time" of testing this drug to become addicted for some people, and the destructive value and measures of what it can do will result in a wake of powerful deterioration of the body, mind and maybe even life itself.
Within this web site you will find many helpful links, personal writings, books, and so much more. I have tried to accumulate as much information for people to get a basic start with educating themselves about Crystal Meth.
My story is much like many people in regards to the events that take place while abusing this drug. The path that I took ended up destroying just about everything in my life that I held dear to me.
Eight long years of abusing this drug took its toll on me physically, emotionally and mentally. The amazing thing is that I am still alive to tell my story. I am proud, not ashamed, of allowing my story to be told, because I hope that others will see what I had to go through and understand that this drug, any drug, is not the best medicine for life's problems when certain things in our lives aren't how we would like them to be.
When I first started using this drug, it was brought to me through someone I loved. Of course being a somewhat shy and needing to "fit in" the crowd, much like many people, and my journey began as what seemed to be adventurous. Much to my dismay, the bad times outweighed the good, and soon enough I discovered that my life was going to be forever changed.
At first, the drug abuse was a "weekend fling" that I plunged into for the sake of putting some fun into my life. It didn't take long at all before the "weekends" became "week days", and those "week days" became a huge blur in my life.
The abuse of meth, for me, was not only for the sake of partying, it was as well to adjust some physical and emotional situations that were problems for me. The drug itself gave me "power" and "control" over things that I felt I didn't have in my life. But of course, these "situations" were only temporary. Many of the things that seemed wrong in my life could have been controlled through a physician or counseling, but I chose drugs as my way out of reality.
I don't plan on going through all of the things that happened with my time using meth, but by drawing you a clear picture of what this drug led up to in my life towards the end of it all is pretty much the "typical" problem that many of us fall prey too.
For the better part of eight years I completely pushed away everyone that I loved out of my life. This was not because I did not love them; it was just because meth was my life. The abuser can't see past themselves while using long enough to put into perspective the important things that once mattered to them. Many people think that it's "them" that is the problem, when actually it's the drug addict that is the entire problem and can't admit that they are addicts in the first place.
An addict will desperately search for answers in their mind and fight off people that are trying to help because they can't admit that "they" have an addiction. For the most part, the addict will not get help unless "they" 100% want the help first. This is very discouraging for so many people that love them and want to help. Most addicts will blame everyone but themselves when it comes to their addiction.
During the last few months of my over powering addiction I had lost about seven sizes within one to two months. I was barely sleeping or eating and working 13 hours shifts for work. It wasn't anything to stay awake for 15 days at a time with "NO" sleep at all. (Yes I said that!) 15 days! This drug is so powerful that by increasing the amount, and continually taking it, the limits take you pretty far before you crash down and sleep for a week.
By the time I had gone the duration of my abuse I had translucent skin, bloody scabs and pick marks all over my body, my kidneys were failing, brittle hair and nails, paranoia, hallucinations, phobic and panic problems, weak muscles and a very low immune system to fighting off sickness. The inventory of problems that I had then and still do now is too many to list. Let's just say that I really screwed up my body, mind and life.
Life on this drug makes people do some pretty amazing things, myself included. There were many times I found myself doing things on the drug that I would never do sober. But, the fact is I didn't care. The drug made me feel free and alive. I didn't truly know the damage it was doing inside me, and as well how it was destroying the "me" inside myself. My life was forever changed through this addiction.
Eight years of my life felt like one year when I look back on everything. I feel like I am missing a huge part of my life. Those types of things, much like certain "memories," I can't have back. Even now when a thought comes to mind during those years, nothing is clear.
When I finally decided to quit this drug I was married and had to make the decision to stay and live the "drug life" or go and get clean. Of course during this time that was the biggest decision of my entire life. I knew that if I left, I would be leaving with nothing, and no where to go. Well, my decision was to "finally" break free from the binding strength that drugs had on my life no matter what the cost was, because my life "itself" wasn't what I wanted to pay.
I can't begin to tell you how difficult it is to quit this drug. Many people struggle with this for years before finally hitting rock bottom. Well, my day had come and I took the chance.
When I left my home, I was living in my car for a while, trying to find a place to live, had broken all connections to anyone I knew that did drugs, and tried to get clean. Shortly after I left my home, my car was taken and I basically had nothing and no one to help me. Living on the streets wasn't fun, but being an addict was worse.
Trying to do the right thing, I quit the drug cold turkey, managed to save up enough money to buy a motorcycle to get back and forth to work, and then found a place to live. What I had to do to get clean was first make the decision to get clean myself, leave "everyone" that used drugs, move out of town and start a new life. To this day I am not involved with anyone prior to my drug days.
Life was hard, and the "medical" community would like to think that a person doesn't go though any withdrawals from this drug, but I beg to differ. I suffered from many different problems actually, but kept forcing myself to keep pushing for my goal of freedom from this drug.
Many people can't stop this drug without some form of help, actually it's pretty rare to not be attending NA or support groups of some kind, let alone not have anyone in your life to fall upon when you need help and friendship.
I'm not here to say that I am someone special, what I am here to say it that breaking free from this drug "IS" possible when you can put everything you have into the process of breaking free. Even when you think you have no choices left in your life, you can still make the choice to get clean. You don't have to depend on someone else to fix your problems; you can take back the control and get back to being the person you were prior to drugs on your own. Of course your life has been forever changed, but you are back in control.
Well, my story itself is very long and can't possibly be told here on this website. I just feel that I need to do my part to reach out to those that think that they are alone when they are not. People are out there by the thousands and thousands suffering like I was, and they think they are so alone.
Anyone that has gotten to the bottom of this story, my story, if there is any way that you can help me keep this website alive or help me maintain the time to continue this fight on the Internet, please try and help the cause by donating to Meth Madness. Everything that you see, all of the posting on the Meth Madness message board and all the emails that I answer in responses, are all on my free time. I wish that I could do more, but I have limits of course. Anything that you donate will be going for upgrades, web hosting and maintenance of this website.
Thanks to everyone who has come here to try and educate themselves, and keep believing that your loved ones will get better soon. It can happen.
